The Week Ahead

This past week Mason and I got to spend some time in California on the beautiful coastline just outside of Los Angeles.  One of the ladies we were with spoke of how crazy it was to be in such a beautiful setting, yet we were basically in LA.  I was so very thankful to be in such a setting as I received the disappointing news from my oncologist.  I was surrounded by God's beautiful creation and comforted as I was reminded in so many ways of His majesty and glory.  What have I to fear in the hands of such a Creator?  How can I even process that this God, THE God, loves me so much that He even knows the number of hairs in my head…. What?!!!!

As we leave California to head back to Utah, the beauty of the mountains is clouded by the smog and dirt of this world.  His beauty is still there, just clouded and not as vivid.  Unfortunately,, the enemy is trying to cloud my clarity of my Savior, who I have come to know so intimately.  Who has proven, over and over again, His love and faithfulness.  This world is broken, riddled with disease and heartache.  All that tries to put a haze over who He is, and who we are in Him.  My brain is focussing on the biopsy on Tuesday and all of the unknowns.  I am committed to focus on Him, and what I know.  I know He loves me more than I can even process.  I know that He works all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. I know that my ways are not His ways, nor are my thoughts His thoughts.  I know that He is good, all the time.  I know I can trust Him with this life that is not mine, but is His.  As I remember who He is, seek His face, dig into His Word and claim His promises, my peace is restored. 

Matthew 14:25-33
Now in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went to them, walking on the sea.  And when the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying "It is a ghost!" And they cried out for fear.
But immediately Jesus spoke to them saying, "Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid."
And Peter answered Him and said, "Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water."
So He said, "Come." And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus.  But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying, "Lord, save me!"
And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?" And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased.
Then those who were in the boat came and worshiped Him, saying, "Truly You are the Son of God."

I want to trust Him.  If I am going to say "Here am I", I'm going to have to have faith in the battle.  I know my fear breaks His heart, but not His love for me.  I am determined to focus so intently on His face that I do not notice the boisterous wind.  He has it! So I will trust Him with the outcome of Tuesday's biopsy.  His grace is sufficient.  He has this!