Feeling Better

I was reminded today that I have not written in a while. I am feeling much better, every day brings more normalcy. I love God's word and I love to lead Bible studies. I have not been doing that over these past few months because of the chemotherapy. In November I volunteered to teach a marriage class with a friend at church. I thought that it would be a piece of cake, January 22 was almost two weeks after my last chemo and I would be fine. Well, it was not easy. I was really wiped out after that last treatment and was so thankful that I was not teaching the class alone! My friend and I were comical, she is even older than me (by a little, but it counts!), and is going back to school. Her first week back was the week before the class. God is good, and in spite of all of our inadequacies, the class went well and He was glorified. It was good to be productive again. In spite of the struggle of pulling something together through fatigue and heart burn, it felt good to be doing more than surviving. I lead the women's weekly Bible Study at church this week. It felt good to be doing that again, and it was the same joy of giving in service rather than receiving. All that being said, it took all of my energy to be able to lead in those classes. Now it is Thursday night and it was a very busy day. I am feeling so much better, I really can forget that I have cancer as I enjoy the quiet leading up to my surgery. I will let tomorrow worry about itself and trust in the Lord for today, enjoying His peace. Mason leaves next week, as the season is quickly approaching. He is returning for a few days the following week to come to doctor appointments with me. I have a CT scan next week, then Dr. Limentani on Feb. 8. I believe he will go over the plan for radiation and beyond. I have a consult with a plastic surgeon on Feb. 9, please pray for wisdom and peace as we explore my options for reconstruction. I see the surgeon on the 10th for my pre-op visit, and the anesthesiologist on the 11th for pre-op. I am scheduled for surgery on February 18th. So far I am very calm as the date quickly approaches. Please pray for my continued peace, as well as for Mason and the kids. Jillian will be driving home on the 17th to be here for my surgery, and Alex will be flying home the following week to be here when Mason has to travel for a race. Pray for wisdom and discernment for all of the doctors and medical staff involved. There will be a pathologist in the operating room to determine how many lymph nodes will be taken, pray for that process and decision. Thank you all for hanging with us through this journey, your prayers and encouragement have helped to carry us. I am so very thankful for the crazy normal that is creeping back into my life and our home, and for my returning strength and energy. I turned 50 this week. That can be a difficult birthday for women, especially when it is surrounded by so many medical appointments! For me, this has been a week of celebration; Mason Thomas said it was "Mom's Birthday Week of Fun". What a blessing to be reminded in such a special way of how loved I am, how much I have been rescued from, and what a gracious and merciful Savior I serve! 1 Peter 5:10 "After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you."

DONE!!! Well, sort of...

I have completed six of six chemo treatments! All of them were taken as scheduled, which is a huge praise! I want to give glory to God for all that He has done in these past few months. He has protected me and kept me strong through all of the chemotherapy, He even put a wall around me when Madi was so sick with the flu. He has been gracious to me and given me peace that I thought was impossible to have in this situation. He cleared the weather each week during the season so that Mason came home on time and never missed an appointment or a treatment. He has loved on our children in such a special way and given them peace and a faith through this that amazes me. The Vincent family has been so blessed by the Body of Christ, I cannot even describe how we have been touched. Our Lord has so directed the prayers of His people that there is no doubt of His love and mercy, and His sovereign power and goodness. Today I had an MRI. The radiologist just called, the same one who kept calling with bad news early in this journey. She said that "image-wise" there is no sign of any cancer in my breasts! She said that I should be celebrating this weekend, as my body has responded incredibly well to the chemotherapy and that all that I have gone through has been worth it! I am sitting here in amazement as I think of how God always meets me where I am. My last comment was confessing that I was looking for a doctor to assure me, but I do not and should not need that. Yet, my loving Father has let this doctor say what no one else would, the cancer is gone. My hope is in the Lord, I know this, and no words of man will tear me down or build me up. Still, I think it a sweet gift from Him to hear a doctor acknowledge His healing power. I still have a long way to go, there are more tests, more appointments, more decisions. But for today, I will rest in His grace and peace. Thank you for your prayers and please continue with us on this journey. Today, join us as we praise Him for our good news and trust Him with all of our tomorrows. Psalm 62:5 "My soul waits silently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him."

Kisses from God...again!

I am writing this with my mind going around and around. I have so much joy and yet such a heavy heart. I want to share the powerful experience of Passion 2010. It was so amazing to watch more than 20,000 college students come together for the common purpose of worshipping and seeking our amazing God. The kids were incredible! I was so moved as I had the wonderful experience of interacting with them, they were happy, polite, calm, respectful! I had so much fun just being around them! To watch the passion they have in their worship was such a blessing to me. God responded to them in a special and powerful way, I have never experienced such a thing. I have been so filled by the experience and I had a front row seat to witness living faith and belief that is more than just words. What an inspiring and challenging week for my personal faith in our powerful, loving, and merciful God. I came home Tuesday night and had an appointment with the surgeon on Wednesday afternoon. That was a strong dose of reality. Being so tired, I'm sure, did not help with how I received all that I heard that day. It was difficult. I was painfully reminded that I will never hear a doctor say that this is finished, the battle is won. That is something I know and I thought I had processed, but clearly I am still a work in progress. My surgery is scheduled for February 23. I was told that I cannot have the beginning of my reconstruction at the time of my masectomy, it will probably be close to a year before that happens. The radiation I have to have is very damaging to the tissue and I need to allow time for healing and rebuilding before I do any reconstruction. In the mean time, I have appointments for a consult with the plastic surgeion, an MRI, and a CT scan. All of this is ground work for my surgery and deciding my continued treatment. I keep being shown that God's grace is sufficient and that it is usually for today. Tomorrow's will come tomorrow! So for today, please pray for my chemo treatment on Monday. Pray that I will be strong and ready for it, that it will do what it is supposed to do, kill cancer. Also, I know that my surgery will, at the very least, remove the lymphnodes on the right side. There is a 20% chance that I will have a swollen arm because of this. I don't really understand all of this, but this swollen arm thing is permanent. I am asking for prayer that I am protected from this side effect. The doctor said that there is an 80% chance that this won't happen. I am the lucky one who got the breast cancer that only 15% of breast cancer is, and only 20% of that cancer is in both breasts, me again. I think you see my point, my hope is clearly not in the numbers, but in the mercy of my God. So I am asking for more grace and protection. As always, I am asking for complete healing from this horrible disease. I ask that you continue to pray, with believing, for God to remove every cancer cell from my body, even the most microscopic cell. I am tired and weary, please pray for God to lift me and encourage me. I ask the same for Mason and the kids; when I am down, please pray that they will not be discouraged. The reality of this very short off season has hit us this week. The appointments we made for all of these scans and consults were worked around the NASCAR schedule. Some of them could not be worked out for Mason to be here. Please pray for our peace and contentment as we continue to persevere on this long journey. I called this "Kisses from God...again!" because I was reminded this week of the gift God gave me in experiencing Him so powerfully at Passion 2010 right before I went for such a difficult visit with the surgeon. I was telling one of our college students about a specific intervention of God at Passion when it struck me that the faith and confidence Louie Giglio showed as he trusted God for His provision in this situation, was exactly the confidence I should have in my God and Savior. I have asked for healing and I do not need the doctors to believe in the impossible, I know that God is faithful and powerful, sovereign over all things. I need to confidently believe Him. Isaiah 43:2 "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they will not overflow you; When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, nor will the flame burn you."

Praises, again!

I am writing this from Atlanta, which is a praise in itself! But first, the medical details. I had my ten day blood work on Wednesday and all was well. They are watching my white blood cells, my hemoglobin, and my platelets. The white blood cells and the platelets are normal, and the hemoglobin is 10.7, normal is 12. That is amazing for a woman who has had five of six chemo treatments! The nurse was very excited, but my praise does not end there. I have been in Atlanta since Wednesday afternoon. We have been working set-up for Passion 2010. I have not once felt like a cancer patient, or even weak or old. No one here knows I have cancer, there has never been a need for me to ask for rest or to bow out of anything. I have kept pace with Mason and Madi, and with all of the volunteers. I am overwhelmed, again, at God's protection and faithfulness. I read this week about Peter, when he was imprisoned by Herod. Acts 12:5 says "So Peter was kept in the prison, but prayer for him was being made fervenetly by the church to God." Peter was rescued from prison, and verse 10 says that "...they came to the iron gate that leads into the city, which opened for them by itself, ..." That is how I feel this experience has been. My iron gate has been this cancer, the chemo therapy, and my fear. I have been miraculously carried past many guards and through gates that have been opened many times in these last few months, and this week is another act of God's amazing grace. I read an article last night about the command in Galatians 6 to "bear one another's burdens". I am so happy to be here, contributing in my little ways, to this incredible ministry. It feels so good to be the one praying for another, serving another; it has been such a long road of needing and receiving prayer and support. Thanks to all of that support, I get to serve this week! I am thankful for so much, and this week I am especially thankful for the energy and strength that has allowed me to forget about cancer and serve in a little way in building God's Kingdom. Galatians 6:10 "So then, while we have opportuniy, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith."