Abiding...

Tomorrow is my last full radiation, I have completed 27 of 28! After my treatment tomorrow they will do the set-up for next week, five treatments that they call "boost" for the scars. The radiation will be concentrated on the scars from surgery, as studies show that the cancer likes to hide in that tissue. Next Friday I will be completely finished with the aggressive parts of my oncologist's treatment plan. The doctor I saw today is new to me, my doctor is on vacation, and said he was amazed at how well I am doing. He said that he was expecting my chest to be far worse at this point of my therapy. I am very pink and a little irritated in areas, but I am not miserable and not blistering. I am so thankful for all of your prayers on my behalf, and for the loving protection God has graced me with. I am feeling great, and very appreciative! As this final phase of my treatment comes to a close I confess to a tapestry of emotions. I am thankful for how I have been truly carried through this by the love of so many and by the grace of my Lord. Mason has been incredible through this and I am speechless at how this horrible disease has brought so much blessing to our marriage. Jillian, Mason Thomas, Ally, and Madi have been blessed by so many of you, as they have watched the body of Christ in such an intimate way. They have been strengthened in their faith as they have fully surrendered to their Savior who has beautifully revealed Himself to each of them in such special and unique ways. I wish I knew what tomorrow will bring, but I do not. I have learned much over these past months and surrender is at the top of the very long list. I have been really thinking on what it is to abide in the Lord. The stained glass image in the radiation room of the branch and vines has sent me to John 15, and each day I lay on that table I ponder God's word. That has been 27 days of pondering! I wish I had something profound to share with you, but I really don't. I have a peace and a joy that is quiet but real. I don't know how to describe it and I am certainly not a theologian, but to me abiding in the Lord means that I am ok not knowing what tomorrow will bring. His love is sufficient and perfect and I can trust Him with tomorrow. Understanding that love and trusting in it does not come easy to this child of a restless alcoholic, but as I abide in Him, that love is finally freeing me in a way I thought was not possible for me. Thank you for hanging with me on this very long and crazy journey, and for letting me share my thoughts with you as I learn and grow. Your prayers and support have been powerful and have meant so very much to the Vincent family! Please continue to pray for us as we continue in this battle, pray that the doctors will be blown away at the healing power of our amazing God! John 15:9 "Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love."

Normal...

We are doing well, settling in to a new normal. I have completed nine radiation treatments, it is really two weeks and today started my third. I am feeling great, probably the best I have felt in a long time, certainly since before the cancer diagnosis. I have hair growing back, not ready to lose the wig yet, but it is definitely more than stubs. I shaved my legs on Thursday for the first time since September! Not because I have gotten lazy or suddenly French, but because there has been nothing there to shave since the first chemo treatment! I was very excited, but I cut my leg so I guess I am a little rusty. My enthusiasm was a little crushed today when I realized that I really need to shave again! Thankful for normal! On the subject of returning hair, I plucked my eyebrows and put on mascara for Thursday night! I have not had eyebrows or eyelashes for a few months. My eyelashes are short, but they are there! Thankful for normal. I ironed on Thursday! I know, I'm strange. I am probably the last American standing who still irons, but I do and I like that Mason has nicely ironed clothes to choose from hanging in his closet. I haven't had the energy to do this chore and Mason irons as he needs. It was a great victory for me to do laundry last week and return the 'ironing' basket empty to it's proper place...sad but thrilling! Thankful for normal! It has been a special gift from God that there has been so much victory in the little things during this special time for Christ followers called Holy Week. As I have wrestled so much with God over these last few months, struggling to completely surrender as I completely trust in Him, this week has been a sweet reminder of all that I have in Him and how amazing His love is for me. I serve a risen Savior who has defeated even death and has so much more for us than the here and now of this world. Today I am thankful for His amazing grace. John 11:25 "Jesus said to her, 'I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live.' "