I have completed eight of twelve treatments and am so thankful to be doing well and right on schedule! As I persevere and continue to trust my Lord through this journey, I thought of some things I have learned and would like to share..... They are things I have learned through a trial or storm of cancer. I believe, however, that there are applicable lessons that are good to know, no matter what your particular trial may be. I hope you gain some comfort or insight.....
Chemo messes with my lymphodema, therefore I am doing physical therapy as well as daily exercises at home to combat it. I am praying that it will settle down after I complete my treatments. Sometimes I feel like I'm falling apart, it's good to know that it's all part of chemo! I call breast cancer the gift that keeps on giving.... Therefore, I must keep on fighting, in whatever ways I can. Good to know!
Exercise actually makes you feel better! I know that rest is important, but exercise really does make me feel better. I have days that I am just tired and don't feel like doing anything. When I push through, go for a walk or a hike, I always feel better. Some days the walk is short, but it is better than sitting home not feeling good. I'm pretty sure the praise music in my ears combined with being in the middle of God's beautiful creation helps a ton!!! Good to know!
The cancer patient (me), needs to communicate clearly with the main caregiver (Mason). I need to tell Mason what I need from him, not expect him to guess. Mason thinks I am strong, his respect for me is how he shows his love. Sometimes I just need a hug! I have to tell him, he's not great at intuition or mind reading! He is, however, very responsive to my communicated needs.... Good to know!
The caregiver needs to listen, with eyes and ears! Sometimes said cancer patient is just so caught up in the emotional and physical stresses that she simply doesn't know what she wants or needs. Patience and perseverance will generally bring comfort and resolution! Fatigue can make me crazy, as can hunger. The two combined.....BOOM!!!! Mason is learning to pay more attention and guide me when I've hit a wall and don't know what I want or need. Good to know!
Cancer can bring many blessings. Our marriage is stronger, our faith is deeper, and our compassion is greater because of this cancer journey. We are thankful for every day, knowing what a blessing it is to grow old together. We have had to be there for each other, good news and bad. We pray together and for each other. We understand the hurt and devastation that cancer diagnosis can cause. We also understand the hope that we have because of Jesus! We have had so many opportunities to share that hope, with scared and hurting people, as well as hospital and doctor staffs. I don't know what God will do, or has done, with any of that. But we share our hope as we trust Him with the rest. How can we not share all that God has so graciously and powerfully been to us?!! Good to know....
Cancer will bring cool people in and out of your life. It just does. We have met some of the nicest people in the infusion rooms and in the many waiting rooms we have have spent too much time in over the past five years! Funny conversations. Inspiring stories. Tragic, hurting people who have never known that I have quietly prayed for them. Maybe one day I will see them in heaven.... God will do great and glorious things and that is good to know!
Prayer matters. To the prayer and to the prayed for. I have been on both ends and I'm not sure which has been more powerful to me. Prayer brings change. Read your Bible! I don't understand the how's, I just know God tells us to, and He responds. It's amazing... I have been changed, comforted, challenged and healed as I prayed for someone; and I have been changed, comforted, challenged, and healed, as others have prayed for me. Pray....Good to know!
Give. Of yourself. You can and should. Even in the middle of a trial, you have something to give. You can write a note, give a word of comfort or encouragement. You can pray. You can share your story of how God is carrying you right now. You can tell of the hope you have. Trust me, you will feel better and so very blessed if you just tell God's story! That's our purpose, and that is good to know!
Laugh. Really. This week there were three women waiting to see the doctor and then going down for chemo. We are all tired of chemo, our husbands have their own issues. But we had the best time. We laughed. Over nothing. Just laughed. Laughter is a vital part of the Vincent family, always Kind of healing! And good to know!
Don't watch hallmark movies where the mom dies of cancer when in the middle of this battle. Bad idea. It can set off a panic/anxiety attack. Not that I would be so stupid, but, you know, it could happen to some foolish person.... Laughter, way better. It's just good to know!
People who have cancer on tv usually die. Not reality. Good to know.
God still does miracles! Everyday and in many ways. Open your eyes and heart, don't miss them! Very good to know!
Turn to God. Speak your complaints, struggles, and fears out loud. He is a big God, He can take it. I find, however, when I say my complaints out loud, when I physically hear them, I'm usually humbled at the sound of them. Really? I'm going to complain to my perfect Savior, who died a horrible death on a cross? For me. Willingly, without complaint. So I could have a hope. So I have assurance. So I don't have to fear any storm. He is my rescue and strength. My complaints disappear as I find myself longing for Him.
Isaiah 30:18 (NASB)
Therefore the LORD longs to be gracious to you, And therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you. For the LORD is a God of justice; How blessed are all those who long for Him.
Now THAT IS GOOD TO KNOW!!!!!
Monday, June 30, 2014
Sunday, June 15, 2014
Be An Eagle Today, Mama!
Last week was difficult. The labs showed my liver numbers were way high. I have been taking a very large dose of prescription Prilosec for my stomach for about a month because of the stomach acid reflux caused by the cancer. It has been helping but because of the liver numbers they told me to quit taking it and we will check the labs again next week to see if that was causing the liver problems. So, I wait. Again.
The adjustment to dropping the medicine has been difficult. A lot of heartburn, plus all the silly anxiety at every bit of bad or concerning news. In all fairness, I have a really bad track record! It seems that if something shows up as a concern, it is usually the worst case scenario. So, I wait. Again.
Due to some miscommunications, they did not run the labs this week. Great.... So, I wait. Again.
Physical fatigue combined with not feeling well and mental stress, left me wide open for spiritual attacks. I cried out to Jesus. Over and over and over. He was gracious and gave me much. I was trying to sort through and process it all. After a bad evening this week, ruining a celebratory dinner with a very special friend and Mason's parents, I was left weak and feeling pretty defeated. As Mason was holding his crying wife, he did what he does well. He gave her a sleeping pill and recruited the prayer of his daughters! The next morning I woke up to this text from Madi:
"Isaiah 40:31 NLT But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.
Be an eagle today mama."
Wow.... So thankful for kids who are so much better than me! The best part is this; the previous day I was walking and listening to praise music. I was talking to God, who had spent the week giving me so much. I was having a difficult time trying to pick one thing to chew on, to really try to claim and allow to sincerely change and grow me. This same thing was happening on my walk. I could hear God, He was near to me. I was comforted, yet I was restless. I was all over the place. Then, when I was almost home, I saw this.
I didn't know what or why, but I took a picture. God was telling me to slow down. His time is perfect. I want the great lab results, now. I want the great scan report, now. I want to feel better, now. I want the cancer gone, now. But God says wait. So, I wait. Again.
The really cool thing is that this particular sign is out at that same spot every day. I see it every time I walk. I turn the corner, never really paying attention to it. On that day, God whispered to me. It had been almost two weeks of crying out to Him and really not understanding what He was saying. It has also been several days between taking the picture and hearing God clearly. Wait is not what I wanted to hear. Maybe that is why I was having such a difficult time! Rejecting God's direction is never a good idea, and never successful! Thankfully, He does not give up on me! Only a few verses before the one Madi shared is this promise:
Isaiah 40:28 ESV
Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; His understanding is unsearchable.
So thankful!!!!! Sometimes the only thing that inhibits our hearing of God's voice is timing. Don't give up. Be still. You. Will. Hear. Him.
Strength will rise as I wait upon the Lord. It does! No matter the situation, no matter the trial. God's plan is perfect. God's timing is perfect. His promises are to be trusted. He is patiently forming us into His image. He does not give up on us. Ever! I don't want easy, I don't want to miss His heart for me. One step at a time, one day at a time.
So.... Go be an eagle today!
The adjustment to dropping the medicine has been difficult. A lot of heartburn, plus all the silly anxiety at every bit of bad or concerning news. In all fairness, I have a really bad track record! It seems that if something shows up as a concern, it is usually the worst case scenario. So, I wait. Again.
Due to some miscommunications, they did not run the labs this week. Great.... So, I wait. Again.
Physical fatigue combined with not feeling well and mental stress, left me wide open for spiritual attacks. I cried out to Jesus. Over and over and over. He was gracious and gave me much. I was trying to sort through and process it all. After a bad evening this week, ruining a celebratory dinner with a very special friend and Mason's parents, I was left weak and feeling pretty defeated. As Mason was holding his crying wife, he did what he does well. He gave her a sleeping pill and recruited the prayer of his daughters! The next morning I woke up to this text from Madi:
"Isaiah 40:31 NLT But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.
Be an eagle today mama."
Wow.... So thankful for kids who are so much better than me! The best part is this; the previous day I was walking and listening to praise music. I was talking to God, who had spent the week giving me so much. I was having a difficult time trying to pick one thing to chew on, to really try to claim and allow to sincerely change and grow me. This same thing was happening on my walk. I could hear God, He was near to me. I was comforted, yet I was restless. I was all over the place. Then, when I was almost home, I saw this.
I didn't know what or why, but I took a picture. God was telling me to slow down. His time is perfect. I want the great lab results, now. I want the great scan report, now. I want to feel better, now. I want the cancer gone, now. But God says wait. So, I wait. Again.The really cool thing is that this particular sign is out at that same spot every day. I see it every time I walk. I turn the corner, never really paying attention to it. On that day, God whispered to me. It had been almost two weeks of crying out to Him and really not understanding what He was saying. It has also been several days between taking the picture and hearing God clearly. Wait is not what I wanted to hear. Maybe that is why I was having such a difficult time! Rejecting God's direction is never a good idea, and never successful! Thankfully, He does not give up on me! Only a few verses before the one Madi shared is this promise:
Isaiah 40:28 ESV
Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; His understanding is unsearchable.
So thankful!!!!! Sometimes the only thing that inhibits our hearing of God's voice is timing. Don't give up. Be still. You. Will. Hear. Him.
Strength will rise as I wait upon the Lord. It does! No matter the situation, no matter the trial. God's plan is perfect. God's timing is perfect. His promises are to be trusted. He is patiently forming us into His image. He does not give up on us. Ever! I don't want easy, I don't want to miss His heart for me. One step at a time, one day at a time.
So.... Go be an eagle today!
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