One Down, Five to Go!

Today was my first chemo cycle. Once again, God sustained me and more! The peace and calm I had all day, even leading up to the entering the treatment room and all of the prep stuff, was nothing short of amazing. I had no negative effects to any of the drugs as they were being administered, that is very good news. I spent the day thanking God for all that He has done in this process and for all of you who He has graciously and mercifully surrounded me with. Mason and I truly have a profound understanding of the 'body of Christ' and the incredible blessing and gift that it is. I confess that I am really tired right now. Mason and I went for a walk tonight before dinner. I was fine, but I am ready for bed at a very early hour! I have a lot of anti-nausea medicine in my system so I suspect that is what it is. Again, I cannot express how much all of you and your prayers and encouragement mean to all of the Vincent family, Jillian even had great news today in the form of a praise! I have always loved that God is relational and chooses to operate through His people in such profound ways. Thank you all for your willing and loving service, and for your utter dependence on our awesome God that keeps all of us on our knees. As always, I rest in the comfort that He is my exceedingly great reward.

Sunday!!!!!!

Today has been an amazing day. I have so many thoughts that I am glad Mason is home to contain me as I write! To start with, the sermon today was Isaiah 6:1 - 8. This passage has impacted me so powerfully in the past couple of years and it continues to draw me to it. The courage to confront my sin and inadequacies when I gaze on the face of God is so freeing as I realize His holiness and His mercy that is shown in this passage is indeed transforming. Doug's focus today on our call to service in this passage was such a comfort to me; I have definitely been drafted but God's grace will carry me and in spite of my fears, reluctance, and humaness, He will see me through and be glorified. Isaiah 6:3b "...the whole earth is filled with His glory." I had so many people who know nothing of NASCAR come up to me today and tell me that it is raining in Dover so they would be praying that Mason could finish and be home for my first treatment. I didn't talk with Mason much today but the first thing he said when he called after the race was that he had no idea how they got the race in and that it was raining in Dover at that time! God is good and hears our prayers! I know this sounds strange coming from a cancer patient, but God's ways are not our ways. I went to a movie with Madi today that was about a psychologist who lost his wife and wrote a book about the grieving process. The movie was showing his fight as he tried to help people who were paralyzed in their grief. He had many practical steps, but none of them included God. I kept thinking that I cannot climb high enough, run fast enough, dance free enough, laugh long enough, or love deep enough to escape my fears and find the peace and comfort that only Christ can bring. Please continue to pray for me, for I am a little anxious about tomorrow. (as I write this my heart is racing...just a little!) Please pray that all goes well, my body takes the chemicals and the cancer is defeated. As always, our LORD is our exceedingly great reward!

Quiet day, finally!

Just in case you haven't heard, the procedure to install my port went amazingly well. It was much faster than I was expecting and God was good in the way He protected and ecouraged me. Mason is doing well in Dover; thank you all so much for your prayers. Today I paid bills and tried to organize some of the information I have been collecting over these last few weeks. That is a praise, I am moving forward, not paralyzed (for three days in a row!). Which is very good since I hadn't paid bills in so long I was beginning to worry about something being turned off, I really don't need one more thing! Isaiah 54:10 " 'For the mountains may be removed and the hills may shake, but My lovingkindness will not be removed from you, and My covenant of peace will not be shaken,' says the Lord who has compassion on you." This verse is one of many that you all have been sending to me and it spoke to me in a special way. Several people stopped by today and brought gifts of comfort and encouragement; I even got flowers and dinner was delivered! You all continually bless me beyond measure. Please keep the prayers coming, I know that the peace that is beginning to replace the fear is because of the petitions of so many of God's people holding me up. Please continue to pray for my healing, and the peace of my family. Monday is my first chemo treatment, please pray for me to be strong and courageous, for my body to handle all of these drugs, and for the cancer to be destroyed. May I never forget how powerfully I have learned that He is my exceedingly great reward.

Feeling restored. . .

Today I returned to Bible Study, it felt so good to be back among so many special people and digging into God's word with the women of StoneBridge! In Isaiah 1:23b ". . . They do not defend the orphan, nor does the widow's plea come before them." We didn't speak much on this subject today, but it effected me very much. I have been so touched by how God's people have surrounded me and my family and held us up with prayer, words of encouragement, sharing scripture, and offers of help in so many ways. I will forever be changed and more active in compassionate service to the wounded and broken hearted. When I could not feel God, He loved me through all of you who poured your love out and did not abandon me in my darkest hour. Thank you all and please keep praying, encouraging and loving the Vincent family. Tomorrow begins with Mason and I receiving instruction on chemotherapy. Mason heads of the the race at noon and I have a procedure in the afternoon to put in a port to receive my chemo. A very special friend is giving her time to take me, it is outpatient but because of anesthesia it is a long day. Madi is being covered by even more loving friends. . . thank you all so much. Please pray for Mason as he is leaving us for the first time since this all started. Hard as it has been on me, it truly is more difficult to watch and not be able to stop it for him. He hates not being here for my procedure so please pray for peace for him and protection for me. Psalm 30:7 "I will rejoice and be glad in Your lovingkindness, because You have seen my affliction; You have known the troubles of my soul." Thank you all for your support and for your constant reminder that God has not abandoned us! We love you!

The Plan

We have a plan, finally! I will have six chemotherapy sessions, one every three weeks; followed by a double masectomy (when I am strong enough) then radiation. On Thursday I am having a port put into my chest to take my chemotherapy in an effort to save my veins. My first chemo session is on Monday, September 28th. We like the oncologist very much, he is highly recommended and has been very encouraging. He confesses that this is a very aggressive and maybe even controversial plan, but we are confident in his care and Mason and I feel very strongly that the Lord has put him in our path. As time goes on I will share the path that led us to him, but for now suffice to say that he is even a NASCAR fan! This is going to be a difficult battle, but I know that my strength is in the Lord and the power of the prayers of so many people. Please pray that the cancer in my body will be stopped and shrunk by the chemo, continue to pray for our family and for wisdom and talent in our medical care givers. The doctor told me today that he will do his part but I have to do mine. My part is a positive and determined spirit. So please pray for the Lord to restore my peace and joy and fill me with a faith that can fight off all of the doubts the enemy tries to fill me with. A friend sent me this verse today: Psalm 42:11 "Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him, The help of my countenance and my God." Again, thank you for your prayers and please keep them coming! We never take for granted all that He has given us in the body of Christ!

Thankfulness...

We are on our way home from dropping Alex off at Ohio State. What a sweet and beautiful daughter we have! Thank you all for your prayers, she was as excited and joyful as she should have been on this important launch. I could not have hand picked a better roommate, Annie is beautiful and kind, I know they will have a great year and become solid friends. God is being so gracious in His care and protection of our children as He expresses His love for them through all of you, His willing servants. Thank you all. A friend sent me this; Psalm 34:18 ""The Lord is near to the broken-hearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit." It has been pointed out to me that though I feel far from God, he has allowed me to feel His love through all of you and that as much as you all love me, God loves me even more. Bless all of you for how you have surrounded the Vincent family. I had a very special time with my family and Mason's parents. It was a nice distraction from the "c" word, another gift from God...you guys are the best! As I face tomorrow I feel anxiety returning. I have a test on my heart at 9:00 a.m., in case you haven't been keeping track, EVERY test has been dire in the results. Mason says we can't keep strking out! I confess to fear, so please pray, BEG, for good results and a strong heart that can withstand the chemotherapy my onconologist has prescribed! Thank you, Father, for putting Mason in my life and for equipping him so well in this journey. Thank you, Father, for Jillian, Mason Thomas, Alexandria, and Madison. They are gifts to me and strong servants to you, you are Amazing God. Thank you, Father, that you are my exceedingly great reward

shel-shocked

I could not post anything yesterday, I had not the anything to do so. On the way home from the hospital yesterday I decided that I was pulling the plug on this blog, my hope was gone and I had nothing to give. The fact that I am here writing today is a testament to the fact that God will not let go of me. I wish I could say that I came home and dug into His word, but I came home and shut down. I did not sleep last night and told Mason this morning that I could not fight. Since then I have been encouraged by my incredible husband and some wonderful emails reminding me that God loves me so much that He has placed an army of saints in my life who are uplifting me even when I am paralysed. At the bone biopsy prep I told the nurse that I couldn't even breathe, she gave me a zanax (?) and the Dr. wanted me to stay for 2 hrs after the procedure. I slept those 2 hours, more than I have slept in 2 or 3 days. Another gift. I am better and tomorrow, again, is another day. I am still terrified and very confused as to what God is doing. He has the big picture, I do not. Still shaken, Mason and I are blessed beyond measure with 4 incredible kids who love Him and love us; and with an incredible support of powerful prayer warriors and note writers all over the place. Thank you all, we will never be able to express what you mean to us. We have promised each other to remember daily (sometimes minute by minute) that He is our exceedingly great reward. Please keep the prayers and encouragement coming. While 'stage four cancer' sucks, God is good and will not leave me, even when I try to throw Him out. What a God I serve!

Rough day but God is good

Met with the surgeon for the first time, liked her very much. While I hope no one ever needs her services, I would strongly recommend her to anyone. Satan worked hard today and momentarily took my peace. The treatment plan was overwhelming and the reality of the BIG pink ribbon smacked me hard. I have more tests tomorrow and a meeting with the oncologist, not sure how much more I will know, but it is one more step. God's gift to me today is Isaiah 40:31 "Yet those who wait for the Lord gain new strength..." Tuesdays have not been kind, on our trip back from Tallahassee last Tuesday we got the call from the radiologist that I have breast cancer. The ride home was hard, but we got through that, and by God's grace, we will get through this.

It begins...

I am creating this blog at the encouragement of some of you to share my journey through breast cancer with all of the prayer warriors who are sustaining Mason and I and our wonderful children through this trial. This is kind of a catch up, as the journey started a couple of weeks ago. I will keep you updated on current events and fill in as I can with our fears and experiences from the beginning of this journey. The phone call that says, "Mrs. Vincent, this is Charlotte Radiology, and there are a few concerns on your mammogram so we need to schedule an appointment for a follow up and an ultrasound.", is what so many of us dread, and why so many of us put off that annual mammogram...not to mention the sheer humility of the whole process. I want to make it clear that I began this journey as a very unwilling participant. I have this very irrational fear of cancer, there are many reasons for this, but Mason and I have always joked that if I ever got cancer he would have his work cut out for him because I would be a mess. Well, he did, because I was a mess from that first phone call. But God is good and He has guided Mason and comforted me in such a powerful way that we have been left in awe of Him. I have an appointment tomorrow with the surgeon and will let you know what comes of that. Until then, Mason and I would like to remind you, as we have been so powerfully reminded, He is our exceedingly great reward!