The last time it took Mason, Madi, and two of my very patient girlfriends. I very begrudgingly bought a wig in anticipation of the inevitable. Mason and Madi worked hard to make it fun. Mason discovered that God made a good decision (like He could do otherwise!) when He made me a redhead. Okay, it was kind of fun... We tried on all kinds of wigs. I smiled and put on a happy face, but I resented the reality that I was going to lose my hair. I resented the reality of chemotherapy. I resented the reality of surgery. I resented the reality of cancer.I called on a couple of friends to come and help me with the final decision. It was not fun, and the darkness sure worked hard to discourage me. I needed God's army of saints, once again, to hold my hand and drag me through a necessary process. No joy. Only duty and obedience.
The first day I pulled out a handful of hair, Mason's response, with a big grin, was "Let's go buy hats!" We did. Nine of them. He made it as fun as he could with this hesitant partner. Again, I put on a happy face and tried to make the best of things.
That was good, that I tried to make the best of things. I persevered, begged God for peace, and took one step at a time. God was so merciful and gracious as He used His army to bring me around. Some of my most precious memories in my marriage are from those shopping sprees and Mason shaving my head. Funny how God does that!
But God wants, He deserves, more. He asks for me to count it all joy. He asks me to trust Him. Fully. He is worthy. Worthy of so much more than I could ever give. Yet all He asks of me is to give Him the best I have and the best I am. He wants all of me. Joyfully and willingly. Why wouldn't He?
Today I know Him better. I have seen His glory in great and powerful ways, and I am leaning on Him. Fully. I take comfort in knowing that so many prayers are being lifted on my behalf. I love the way my children are encouraging me as they trust their Savior with their fears and my healing. I am thankful for Mason and that I have such an amazing and supportive partner in this battle and life journey. God has been, and continues to be, so very good to me.
I am especially thankful that God is more than enough for me. I am thankful that He is my exceedingly great reward, and that He has planted that in my heart. I am thankful that He is my Strong-tower. You see, if I am going to tell His story, I have to fully trust in Him. He has to be my refuge and strength. I love how He used the body to bring me closer to Him. I love how He has called the body today to lift me in prayer and send me words of encouragement. I also love how He used that dark time and these crazy last few months to remove the dross of fear and refine me for this battle. It has to be Him. And it is. I, joyfully, bought a hat!
Psalm 18:31-32
For who is God, except the Lord? And who is a rock, except our God? It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.
I love your hat! Honestly I had to giggle a little about Mason making hats such a fun experience! You are being lifted in prayer from many different avenues. Keep your light glowing!! <3
ReplyDeleteVicki, you will rock any hat you put on your beautiful head and will be adorable. I love your choice- It's very elegant and classy...just like you. It's not an ordinary hat, but one that symbolizes confidence, faith, and trust. You wear the armor of God, but you need to add "the hat of wisdom and maturity". Thank you for sharing this next part of the battle.
ReplyDeleteVicki, I found the passage in Exodus 17. As Joshua fought Amalek; Moses stood on the top of the hill with the rod of God in his hand. When Moses held up his hand, the Israelites prevailed. When he grew weary, Aaron and Hur held up his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side, so his hands were steady until the going down of the sun. Just so everyone knows, I have your left hand and will continue to hold it up through this current battle. I will continue to pray boldly on your behalf and trust that one or more others will come along side and hold up your right hand as well. Together, as God's people, made in His image, adopted heirs, children of the Most High God, just as Israel prevailed against Amalek, so shall we. Please know that you do not battle alone. We are more than conquerors! (Romans 8:37). Love to you and all of your family - Kay
ReplyDeleteThank you, Kay! Thank you for the passage and for standing with me. I'm thankful that I have a body of intercessors holding up my arms.... Thank you for the reminder that we are more than conquerors. Love you and treasure our friendship, sister!
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