Kisses from God.

Today was a one of the days along this journey that I have been dreading. This morning I was going about my day, trying to ignore the obvious. Hair kept falling out, tickling my nose and arms, making a mess every where I settled, and I kept trying to persevere. I did what I often do when I am frustrated, I went for a walk. I didn't even get five houses away when I texted Mason, I knew he was in a meeting but asked him if he could talk. He offered to leave the meeting, asking what was wrong. I spoke female code to him, which he is getting very good at after almost 29 years of being married to me, and he came home as soon as his meeting was over. Madi cut my hair short with scissors, and Mason used the electric hair trimmers to get it really short. Then, per the instructions we found on the internet, I took a very long shower to soften the hair folicles, and my sweet husband very tenderly shaved my head. This is a very technical description because that is how I had to address this as it all began. Mason said as he was shaving my head, a task that was neither quick nor easy, that it was not on his bucket list but he now considered it worthy. It was one of the most tender moments in our marriage. As the covering of my hair was peeled away Mason found scars, some I had stories for and others I did not. I can't explain how this one little thing deepened my relationship with my husband, but I have to say that while going through all of this was not on my bucket list either, I am thankful for having him to share this with. Tonight we went to the MRO fundraiser where I received even more blessings. I met a woman who is on a very similar journey, she is a few months ahead of me. I have met so many women who have been touched by this horrible disease, and they are always a special blessing to me. She will become a special friend, I am sure. Then Newsong did a concert. One of the singers shared a beautiful story of he and his wife's journey through cancer. She was told that there was not much hope and he shared a crazy story of how God surrounded them with their church family, of the pain of watching his wife go through all of the horrors of this disease and its treatment, and of his anger at God. He spoke of that crazy place of being mad at God yet knowing that He was their only hope and crying out to him in praise because he knew he had to. Needless to say, Mason and I sobbed through his whole story and the praise song that followed. Powerful as only God could be. We got to meet him after and shared our story. I told him about our day, he looked at Mason and said the joy of shaving your wife's head is a special one that only a few had the privilege of understanding. I told him how special the moment that I had so dreaded was, and that ending this day with an incredible time of worship was such a gift. He said that his wife finished her last treatment two years ago last January, and is cancer free. They have come to call cancer their evil friend because of all of the blessings and lessons they learned in the process. Today, he said, was a "kiss from God", and that there will be many more kisses even in the dark days that will come along this journey. The verse he shared with me that became his wife's life verse is Proverbs 31:25 "Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future." Once again, I am reminded of all that I have and that He is my exceedingly great reward. I am thankful for the kiss from God today.