Be An Eagle Today, Mama!

Last week was difficult.  The labs showed my liver numbers were way high.  I have been taking a very large dose of prescription Prilosec for my stomach for about a month because of the stomach acid reflux caused by the cancer.  It has been helping but because of the liver numbers they told me to quit taking it and we will check the labs again next week to see if that was causing the liver problems.  So, I wait.  Again.

The adjustment to dropping the medicine has been difficult.  A lot of heartburn, plus all the silly anxiety at every bit of bad or concerning news.  In all fairness, I have a really bad track record!  It seems that if something shows up as a concern, it is usually the worst case scenario.  So, I wait.  Again.

Due to some miscommunications, they did not run the labs this week.  Great....  So, I wait.  Again.

 Physical fatigue combined with not feeling well and mental stress, left me wide open for spiritual attacks.  I cried out to Jesus.  Over and over and over.  He was gracious and gave me much.  I was trying to sort through and process it all.  After a bad evening this week, ruining a celebratory dinner with a very special friend and Mason's parents, I was left weak and feeling pretty defeated.  As Mason was holding his crying wife, he did what he does well.  He gave her a sleeping pill and recruited the prayer of his daughters!  The next morning I woke up to this text from Madi:

"Isaiah 40:31 NLT But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.  They will soar high on wings like eagles.  They will run and not grow weary.  They will walk and not faint.

Be an eagle today mama."

Wow....  So thankful for kids who are so much better than me!  The best part is this; the previous day I was walking and listening to praise music.  I was talking to God, who had spent the week giving me so much.  I was having a difficult time trying to pick one thing to chew on, to really try to claim and allow to sincerely change and grow me.  This same thing was happening on my walk.  I could hear God, He was near to me.  I was comforted, yet I was restless.  I was all over the place.  Then, when I was almost home, I saw this.

I didn't know what or why, but I took a picture.  God was telling me to slow down.  His time is perfect.  I want the great lab results, now.  I want the great scan report, now.  I want to feel better, now.  I want the cancer gone, now.  But God says wait.  So, I wait.  Again.

The really cool thing is that this particular sign is out at that same spot every day.  I see it every time I walk.  I turn the corner, never really paying attention to it.  On that day, God whispered to me.  It had been almost two weeks of crying out to Him and really not understanding what He was saying.  It has also been several days between taking the picture and hearing God clearly.  Wait is not what I wanted to hear.  Maybe that is why I was having such a difficult time!  Rejecting God's direction is never a good idea, and never successful!  Thankfully, He does not give up on me!  Only a few verses before the one Madi shared is this promise:

Isaiah 40:28 ESV
Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.  He does not faint or grow weary; His understanding is unsearchable.

So thankful!!!!!  Sometimes the only thing that inhibits our hearing of God's voice is timing.  Don't give up.  Be still.  You. Will.  Hear.  Him.

Strength will rise as I wait upon the Lord.  It does!  No matter the situation, no matter the trial.  God's plan is perfect.  God's timing is perfect.  His promises are to be trusted.  He is patiently forming us into His image.  He does not give up on us.  Ever!  I don't want easy, I don't want to miss His heart for me.  One step at a time, one day at a time.

So.... Go be an eagle today!